Duties of Those Invited

People who receive "At Home" wedding invitations, are expected to acknowledge them as soon as received, and never fail to accept, unless for some very good reason. Guests invited to the house, or to a marriage feast following the ceremony, should not feel at liberty to decline from any whim or caprice.

Answering A Wedding Invitation

An invitation to the church only requires no answer whatever. An invitation to the reception or breakfast is answered on the first page of a sheet of note paper, and although it is written "by hand" the spacing of the words must be followed as though they were engraved. This is the form of acceptance:

Mr. and Mrs. Robert Gilding, Jr., accept with pleasure Mr. and Mrs. John Huntington Smith's kind invitation for Tuesday the first of June

The regret reads:

Mr. and Mrs. Richard Brown regret that they are unable to accept Mr. and Mrs. John Huntington Smith's kind invitation for Tuesday the first of June

Wedding Invitations for a Second Marriage

Invitations to the marriage of a widow—if she is very young—are sent in the name of her parents exactly as were the invitations to her first wedding, excepting that her name instead of being merely Priscilla is now written Priscilla Barnes Leaming, thus:

Mr. and Mrs. Maynard Barnes request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Priscilla Barnes Leaming to etc.

Wedding Invitations: Announcements

If no general invitations were issued to the church, an announcement engraved on note paper like that of the invitation to the ceremony, is sent to the entire visiting list of both the bride's and the groom's family:

Mr. and Mrs. Maynard Barnes have the honour to announce the marriage of their daughter Priscilla to Mr. Eben Hoyt Leaming on Tuesday the twenty-sixth of April One thousand nine hundred and twenty-two in the City of New York

The Written Wedding Invitation

If a wedding is to be so small that no invitations are engraved, the notes of invitation should be personally written by the bride:

Sally Dear: Our wedding is to be on Thursday the tenth at half-past twelve, Christ Church Chantry. Of course we want you and Jack and the children! And we want all of you to come afterward to Aunt Mary's, for a bite to eat and to wish us luck. Affectionately, Helen.

or

Dear Mrs. Kindhart: Dick and I are to be married at Christ Church Chantry at noon on Thursday the tenth. We both want you and Mr. Kindhart to come to the church and afterward for a very small breakfast to my Aunt's—Mrs. Slade—at Two Park Avenue. With much love from us both, Affectionately, Helen.

Wedding Invitations: Invitation To Reception And Not To Ceremony

It sometimes happens that the bride prefers none but her family at the ceremony, and a big reception. This plan is chosen where the mother of the bride or other very near relative is an invalid. The ceremony may take place at a bedside, or it may be that the invalid can go down to the drawing-room with only the immediate families, and is unequal to the presence of many people.

Under these circumstances the invitations to the breakfast or reception are sent on sheets of note paper like that used for church invitations, but the wording is:

Mr. and Mrs. Grantham Jones request the pleasure of your company at the wedding breakfast of their daughter Muriel and Mr. Burlingame Ross, Jr. on Saturday the first of November at one o'clock at Four East Thirty-Eighth Street The favor of an answer is requested

The "pleasure of your company" is requested in this case instead of the "honour of your presence."

How the Wedding Invitation List is Compiled

Those who keep their visiting list in order have comparatively little work. But those who are not in the habit of entertaining on a general scale, and yet have a large unassorted visiting list, will have quite a piece of work ahead of them, and cannot begin making it soon enough.

In the cities where a Social Register or other Visiting Book is published, people of social prominence find it easiest to read it through, marking "XX" in front of the names to be asked to the house, and another mark, such as a dash, in front of those to be asked to the church only, or to have announcements sent them. Other names which do not appear in the printed list may be written as "thought of" at the top or bottom of pages. In country places and smaller cities, or where a published list is not available, or of sufficient use, the best assistant is the telephone book.

List-making should be done over as long a period and for as short sessions as possible, in order that each name as it is read may bring to memory any other that is similar. Long reading at a time robs the repetition of names of all sense, so that nothing is easier than to pass over the name of a friend without noticing it.

A word of warning: To leave out old friends because they are neither rich nor fashionable and to include comparative strangers because they are of great social importance, not alone shows a want of loyalty and proper feeling, but is to invite the contempt of those very ones whom such snobbery seeks to propitiate.

Four lists, therefore, are combined in sending out wedding invitations; the bride and the groom make one each of their own friends, to which is added the visiting list of the bride's family (made out by her mother, or other near relative) and the visiting list of the groom's family made out by his mother, or a relative. Each name is clearly marked, of course, whether for "house" or "church" invitation.

When the four lists are completed, it is the duty of some one to arrange them into a single one by whatever method seems most expedient. When lists are very long, the compiling is usually done by a professional secretary, who also addresses the envelopes, encloses the proper number of cards, and seals, stamps and posts the invitations. The address of a professional secretary can always be furnished by the stationer. Very often, especially where lists do not run into inordinate length, the envelopes are addressed and the invitations sent out by the bride herself and some of her friends who volunteer to help her.

Preparing The Wedding Invitations

The bride-elect and her mother may go to the stationer and decide details, such as size and texture of paper and style of engraving, for the invitations. The order is given at once for the engraving of all the necessary plates, and probably for the full number of house invitations, especially if to a sit-down breakfast where the guests are limited. There are also ordered a moderate number of general church invitations or announcements, which can be increased later when the lists are completed and the definite number of guests more accurately known.

Ceremony And Reception Invitation In One

Occasionally, especially for a country wedding, the invitation to the breakfast or the reception is added to the one to the ceremony:

Mr. and Mrs. Alexander Chatterton request the honour of Mr & Mrs. Worldly's presence at the marriage of their daughter Hester to Mr. James Town, junior on Tuesday the first of June at three o'clock at St. John's Church and afterwards at Sunnylawn Ridgefield R.s.v.p.

Or the invitation reads "at twelve o'clock, at St. John's Church, and afterwards at breakfast at Sunnylawn"; but "afterwards to the reception at Sunnylawn" is wrong.

The Church Wedding Invitation

The proper form for an invitation to a church ceremony is:

(Form No. 1.)

Mr. and Mrs. John Huntington Smith request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Mary Katherine to Mr. James Smartlington on Tuesday the first of November at twelve o'clock at St. John's Church in the City of New York

or (Form No. 2):

Mr. and Mrs. John Huntington Smith request the honour of Miss Pauline Town's presence at the marriage of their daughter Mary Katherine to Mr. James Smartlington on Tuesday the first of November at twelve o'clock at St. John's Church

Invitation to a House Reception

The invitation to the breakfast or reception following the church ceremony is engraved on a card to match the paper of the church invitation and is the size of the latter after it is folded for the envelope:

Mr. and Mrs. John Huntington Smith request the pleasure of Mr. & Mrs. James Greatlake's company on Tuesday the first of November at half after four o'clock at Four West Thirty-sixth Street R.s.v.p.

Cards to Reserved Pews

To the family and very intimate friends who are to be seated in especially designated pews:

Please present this to an usher Pew No. —— on Thursday the ninth of May

Church Card of Admittance

In cities or wherever the general public is not to be admitted, a card of about the size of a small visiting card is enclosed with the church invitation:

Please present this card, at St. John's Church on Tuesday the first of November

Invitations for a House Wedding

When the parents issue the invitations for a wedding at a house other than their own the form is:

Mr. and Mrs. Richard Littlehouse request the honour of presence at the marriage of their daughter Betty to Mr. Frederic Robinson on Saturday the fifth of November at four o'clock at the house of Mr. and Mrs. Sterlington Tuxedo Park New York R.s.v.p.

Enclosed in Two Envelopes

Two envelopes are never used except for wedding invitations or announcements; but wedding invitations and all accompaning cards are always enclosed first in an inner envelope that has no mucilage on the flap, and is superscribed "Mr. and Mrs. Jameson Greatlake," without address. This is enclosed in an outer envelope which is sealed and addressed:

Mr. and Mrs. Jameson Greatlake,
24 Michigan Avenue,
Chicago.

To those who are only "asked to the church" no house invitation is enclosed.

Basic Rules for Wedding Invitations

The invitation to the ceremony is engraved on the front sheet of white note-paper. The smartest, at present, is that with a raised margin—or plate mark. At the top of the sheet the crest (if the family of the bride has the right to use one) is embossed without color. Otherwise the invitation bears no device. The engraving may be in script, block, shaded block, or old English. The invitation to the ceremony should always request "the honour" of your "presence," and never the "pleasure" of your "company." (Honour is spelled in the old-fashioned way, with a "u" instead of "honor.")